Sunday, May 1, 2016
One Is The Loneliest Number
Two weeks ago I had to make an extremely difficult decision and while I knew it had to be done, it didn't make it any less heartbreaking. Ginger and Ruby (my beloved pet rats, for those of you not regular readers) have gone to a new home.
When I got them, I knew I would be most likely be allergic to them, but initially, the allergic reaction, which has been primarily respiratory, was manageable. But then I started getting more and more respiratory infections, and have been suffering from a serious respiratory illness since the end of February. The coughing became constant, and a couple of weeks ago I ended up in my doctor's office extremely short of breath. A chest x-ray and a prescription for 5 days of steroids later, I knew I'd reached the end of the line. Many people would have make the decision earlier than I did, and I have no excuse other than I loved them, and in return, they provided companionship, entertainment and affection. When you have lived alone for as long as I have, you realize that sharing a home with another human being may not be in the cards, but sharing a home with a pet is the next best thing (and possibly the preferred option).
I know they are being well cared for, and I am able to visit them, but it has been very difficult to come home to an empty apartment. Many of the people I've told about having to give up my pets have responded with "Well, your health comes first", which is true, but these people all live with partners, children, or pets, and don't understand the loneliness that can come with living a solitary life. It's been challenging to find a new routine that keeps me distracted from their absence, and I haven't felt much like writing, hence the long time between posts. I've had time to question whether I want to continue my blog, and if so, what that will look like, as I've grown tired of promoting other people's creative work when I would like to spend more time working on my own. We'll see what happens. In the meantime, I'm still reading and commenting on other blogs, and I'm enjoying posting to my Instagram which is @fcfashionista.