Sunday, May 1, 2016

One Is The Loneliest Number


Two weeks ago I had to make an extremely difficult decision and while I knew it had to be done, it didn't make it any less heartbreaking.    Ginger and Ruby (my beloved pet rats, for those of you not regular readers) have gone to a new home.


When I got them, I knew I would be most likely be allergic to them, but initially, the allergic reaction, which has been primarily respiratory, was manageable.   But then I started getting more and more respiratory infections, and have been suffering from a serious respiratory illness since the end of February.  The coughing became constant, and a couple of weeks ago I ended up in my doctor's office extremely short of breath.  A chest x-ray and a prescription for 5 days of steroids later, I knew I'd reached the end of the line.   Many people would have make the decision earlier than I did, and I have no excuse other than I loved them, and in return, they provided companionship, entertainment and affection.  When you have lived alone for as long as I have, you realize that sharing a home with another human being may not be in the cards, but sharing a home with a pet is the next best thing (and possibly the preferred option).

I know they are being well cared for, and I am able to visit them, but it has been very difficult to come home to an empty apartment.  Many of the people I've told about having to give up my pets have responded with "Well, your health comes first", which is true, but these people all live with partners, children, or pets, and don't understand the loneliness that can come with living a solitary life.  It's been challenging to find a new routine that keeps me distracted from their absence, and I haven't felt much like writing, hence the long time between posts.   I've had time to question whether I want to continue my blog, and if so, what that will look like, as I've grown tired of promoting other people's creative work when I would like to spend more time working on my own.  We'll see what happens.  In the meantime, I'm still reading and commenting on other blogs, and I'm enjoying posting to my Instagram which is @fcfashionista.

20 comments:

  1. Oh, Shelley, I am so sorry to hear that about your beloved furry family. I would be heartbroken to have to give up Vizzini (monster that he is), even if it meant I could breathe! I'm happy that Ginger and Ruby have a new home and that you can visit, but yes, the emptiness that they leave behind (physically and metaphorically) is profound.

    I hope you will continue your blog - I would love to see some of your own creative endeavours, including your wonderful outfits!

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  2. I wish I had some magic to fill that hole, Shelley. This is the saddest thing, but at least you did get time with them. I'm with Sheila - I would love to see your creations and I hope you don't quit blogging! Gaaa! You have a whole community here. And we love to see what you wear!

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  3. awww, that is the most poignant picture ever. You're right, nothing can replace those loving critters. But art has always been my go to. No matter what else was or wasn't happening, it was always there waiting for me. I just had to step up, show up, start. And then there we were interacting, learning, discovering a whole new world. Art, creativity, sewing!...

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  4. Shelley, I am truly sorry - I understand completely what a difficult decision that must have been and the sense of loss that accompanies it. When I lived alone, my cats were my beloved companions and there were times I really would have been sad and very lonely without them. Actually, the same goes even though I no longer live alone!
    Having some blog issues of my own at the moment too, but I intend to return when I can. I hope you'll find the right format for your blog, and time for your own creativity. Sending love. Xxxx

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  5. Oh Shelley. I do feel for you!
    Would love to see your creations but totally understand if you need a break.
    But don't forget we are your community and you can always share here online when you need an ear.
    xo Jazzy Jack

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  6. Oh, Shelley, I'm so very sorry. I'll be thinking of you as you figure out how to fill that aching hole

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  7. I am sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved pets. Are you a dog person? Have you thought of a teacup poodle? They are one of the best pets for those with allergies because they do not shed much.

    Your outfits and accessories are works of art - hope you continue to highlight those from time to time.

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    1. I have wanted a dog for quite a while, and I know that poodles are one of the breeds recommended for people with allergies, but I am still working full time, and I don't want to leave a dog at home all day alone.

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  8. Tried to send you an email but it was rejected. Have you changed your email address?
    Vancouver Barbara

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  9. So very sorry to hear you had to give up your fur babies. I'm sure that was terribly difficult.

    Sounds like you have had a few challenging months lately.

    Have you ever considered another type of pet? Little geckos are super fun and actually bond really well. We also had birds in the past that were as loving and maybe even smarter than our dogs. I really haven't gotten past the death of our last bird, Midas, a little LoveBird we raised from hand. We had him for 16 years. I miss him every day.

    I hope you find another little living being to be there when you come home. I know how a pet can turn a house into a home.

    ((((Shelley)))))

    bisous
    Suzanne

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    1. My allergist suggested a bearded dragon, but they hibernate for as much as 3 or 4 months, which doesn't seem like much fun, and they require a pretty expensive tank/heater setup. Also, they eat live worms, and I have a thing about worms. If I didn't work full-time, I have wanted a dog for quite a while and may be able to live with one of the smaller hypoallergenic breeds. We'll see what happens.

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    2. This hurts my heart for you. I hope that you can find a new companion that will fill the void and not trigger the allergies. I was speaking to a lady yesterday with severe allergies who got herself a Golden Doodle dog, apparently they are hypo allergenic! As for the writing, maybe a change is needed. There is much to write about in this world! xo

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  10. I'm sorry that you had to let go your pets, they're always such good companions!. And I'm sorry that your allergies are becoming a health issue, please, take care of yourself!! Wish you find a new hypoallergenic pet (for sure, a dog is always a good friend and you will have lots of fun and love)
    Wish you stay blogging, as I think you're an inspiring and very interesting people, so I would miss you a lot!. Just take it easy, and don't feel very concerned about peridiocity when blogging!, and have fun!!
    Besos Y Suerte

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  11. What a sad little photo. I am sorry to hear that you and the rats couldn't live together but your health has to come first and it sounds like they'll be much loved in their new home.
    Your eye for design and unique and fabulous way of dressing are works of art in themselves. I'd miss you if you stopped. Instagram isn't for me. xxx

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  12. Shelley, I'm so sorry you have to give up your little companions. Maybe after you've had time to grieve for your loss, the right path will appear - either creatively or petwise. I'm also becoming less enamored of blogging. I like IG and Facebook but sometimes get overloaded with images, so stepping back for awhile is not a bad thing. Enjoy the summer and take it easy, if that's what you need to do. Hugs.

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  13. Everyone here has been far more eloquent than I ever could. All I can do is echo everyone's sentiments.

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  14. Oh I am so sorry, Shelley. It's heartbreaking to say goodbye to our little family members, for that is what they become. Sending good thoughts to you, and I hope there is an allergy-free companion in your close future. xox

    Patti
    http://notdeadyetstyle.com

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  15. I'm so sorry that you had to let go of your beloved pets. They were your family members, and it will take you time to grieve. The photo that you shared is heartbreaking.

    I'm sure that you will figure out your direction with time. Meanwhile, I will follow you on Instagram and am thinking of you during this time of loss.

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  16. This is terrible... I have lived on my own for a long time before I met Ron and I so agree to coming home to a house with an animal to cast away the loneliness. I always had one or two cats. I feel so sorry for you. Unfortunately a dog is no option for a working girl either. As there are breeds (labradoodle for instance) which can be kept by allergic people.
    I wish you lots of strength.
    Greetje

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